I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me.
Ever since high school, I swear to god I can't keep a close girlfriend longer than a year and I'm kind of getting sick of it.
And the bad thing is, I know it's all me. I know that's cliche to say "It's not you, it's me" but it's so true!
Here's how it usually goes: I'll make a new friend, get really close really fast, and about a year in I'll suddenly find something that annoys me about them and then bolt.
It happened my junior year of high school, and I can't even tell you what drove me crazy.
It happened in college with a super close friend I made working at my first California Starbucks ever. That was one of those Steph-got-a-boyfriend-who-she'd-later-marry-and-chose-to-spend-all-of-her-waking-moments-with-him type of thing. I feel bad about that, but we're all girls and come on, we all do it at some point.
And it happened again this year, and thinking about it now I'm really bummed. We were joined at the hip for a couple of months to now nothing, and again, it's my bad.
The thing that sucks is I really miss her sometimes, because she is a really cool chick. We still see each other once in awhile, but it's not how it used to be. I know I'm the one that pushed her away, and I'm really sorry I did.
I just don't know what this means for the rest of my life. I've always been the girl that hangs out with the guys, and gets along with guys so much better because there's less drama.
But as much fun as fart jokes, horror movies and beer power hours are (and I love all of those things, don't get me wrong) I can't really talk about emotional and feelings crap with my guy friends that I can with other girls.
It would be nice to make a close girlfriend or two and keep being friends with them for longer than two years.
I just wonder how I can do that with my track record. Is it possible? I hope to find the answer one day.
