My nursing journey (and hopes for the new guy)

This post is about breastfeeding, so if you're squeamish about that sort of thing, this post isn't for you.

After reading a few posts by some of my favorite mom bloggers about nursing their babes, I feel compelled to share ours and also what I'm aiming for with our son when he's born next month.
When the baby books and baby websites say that breastfeeding is not easy in the beginning, they really are not kidding, although we had some setbacks that aren't really considered normal.

  What we hoped for and what happened after she was born are two totally different things.  I was hoping for skin-to-skin time with Lucy while I was still on the operating table being sewn up, and then to nurse her while I was in recovery.  We also wanted no visitors until the following day so Andy and I could get to know her and so that I could nurse on demand and have lots of skin-to-skin time.  
I got to do two out of three of those things.  We got skin-to-skin time in the OR and I was able to briefly nurse her in recovery, but while I was nursing her (with a perfect latch I might add) her platelet condition was discovered and she was whisked off to the NICU.  
Instead of spending that first night in the hospital cuddling my baby girl, I formed a relationship with a hospital-grade pump.  Instead of waking up by alarm every two to three hours to nurse my baby that first night, I woke to an alarm to pump (and essentially feel like a dairy cow).
I also didn't sleep very well that first night, because I kept having mini panic attacks whenever I would fall asleep because I was worried about how Lucy was doing downstairs.  Andy got two or three hours of sleep before he went downstairs to check on our baby.
I think it was around 6 a.m. that a nurse came in and helped me stand up and walk to the bathroom, just to get me moving.  My mid-morning I was able to go downstairs and see how Lucy was doing.  The NICU nurses encouraged me try and breastfeed and to pump in the NICU when I came down every time Lucy was hungry, about every three or four hours.
The first day after she was born was a very overwhelming day for both Andy and I, and I really think it contributed to my inability to exclusively breastfeed Lucy in the end.
Instead of resting, pumping and visiting Lucy every few hours, it was nonstop visitors in my room and Andy taking them downstairs to see Lucy, one at a time since she could only have Andy and one other adult visit at a time.  
(I'm going to step on my soap box for a second, so bear with me.  I understand the excitement about wanting to meet a new baby and everything, but what I don't get is how it seems easy for people [especially women who have had children] to want to, or feel like they have the right, to come to the hospital or be waiting outside of the delivery room and rush into the room minutes or an hour after a baby has been born.  That poor mom has just gone through the biggest physical challenge of her life, naturally or by c-section, and deserves, no, has the right, to bond with her her new baby, get cleaned up, eat something, maybe take a nap and relax for a bit before handing her precious new squish over to other people to be held and to have to be somewhat social with visitors.  Maybe I'm different, I know there are people who don't mind having a bunch of visitors right away, but I'm certainly not one of them.)
Anywho.
The first six days of her life were pump every two to three hours and go down to the NICU every three to four hours with the exception of between midnight and when Andy would get back to the hospital, usually around 7 or 8 a.m.  I could have gone down there in the middle of the night on my own, but I decided to rest up in the night hours.  I'd either have a nurse take my milk down to the NICU or keep it on ice until morning.
Because of medication she was on those first few days, she had to eat enough to keep her blood sugar level.  A baby's tummy starts out the size of a marble, and over the course of the first few days expands to the size of a ping pong ball as mom's milk comes in. 
The amount I was pumping wasn't enough to keep her blood sugar where it needed to be, so in addition my milk she was also getting formula.  
Instead of her stomach expanding naturally as we nursed, it got bigger faster than I could produce, which meant we needed to supplement in the hospital and when we got home.  This created a vicious cycle.
It's much easier to get milk out of a bottle than mom, which made it very hard for me to get her to nurse.
In the NICU the lactation consultant had us try a shield, which is pretty much like a little plastic sombrero you put on your boob to make you seem like a bottle nipple.  That seemed to work pretty well, but that's also another double edged sword because it's hard to produce as much milk with the shield.

The first month or so home were really hard, and very frustrating.  I nursed her during the day and then topped her off with formula, and tried to pump after every feeding.  But let's face it.  When you end up with a "won't be put down for a second" baby, and have the added challenge of not being able have anyone come in the house to hold the baby because of their compromised immune system, it's really hard to keep that up.  I was still waking up every two to three hours at night to pump, and eventually just started nursing her then instead.
Eventually I was able to nurse her around the clock, and without a shield, but I never quite produced enough so we always had to supplement after each feeding with formula.
And that went on for nine months, until my supply took a nose dive and I threw in the towel.  By then she was eating solid food and so we just did formula until she turned one and switched to whole milk.

Would I have done anything differently?
Yup.
Once we got home from the hospital, and she had a clean bill of health, I would have worked harder to not use formula.
I really feel like if I had not been so overwhelmed and had tried a lot harder to just nurse her, because looking back at it, I think we could have done it.  I think if I hadn't supplemented so much, my supply would have grown with her and we could have made it to a year.
Although if I hadn't stopped when I did, in May, I don't think I would have gotten pregnant in June like I did, and I wouldn't take that back for a second.
With this next baby, I'm really hoping that the infusions are doing everything they are supposed to and he doesn't end up in the NICU.  I really think we'll have a fighting chance of using no formula if we are able to nurse exclusively from the beginning.  That means I'm going to kind of be a hard ass about the length of time we have visitors in the first few weeks.  If baby needs to eat, everyone with the exception of Andy, Lucy and nurses are leaving the hospital room until he's done with his meal.  At home, I really need to be able to be comfortable nursing, and that usually meant the couch with Lucy, so I'll probably ask people to leave the room when he starts to eat until I get covered up.  This is something I'm very passionate about, nursing, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we're successful this time around because it's so beneficial for the baby.
But if he does end up in the NICU, at least this time I feel better equipped to make it successful.  I know what to do and what not to do, and what my pitfalls were last time.