The four phases of taking your kids to the park

We almost always get out of the house every day, in order to maintain my sanity enrich the children and expend energy, therefore ensuring naps.
We mix it up a bit, but most weeks we visit the park, go to the mall and go the library, and I've noticed there are four phases that we tend to hit doing any of those things.

Phase one: where are the snacks?

It doesn't really matter how long it's been since they've eaten breakfast, the minute their feet touch the playground, they turn into little gremlins clamoring for food.  If you see me and I'm carrying a large tote bag, it's probably because it's filled with snacks. And heaven forbid you give them snacks and then cut them off.  Please see Phase three for more information on THAT!

Phase two: trying to escape the park or playing with things they shouldn't

Lucy is pretty good about not trying to escape and playing on or with designated playground equipment. It's Jackson who is still very much my wild card.  We frequent this awesome indoor playground that's housed in a church, and I spent about half of the time we are there chasing him away from fire extinguishers, the ATM and playing in the water fountain.  When we go to the mall, he's always trying to run into Forever 21 to get in the elevator.

Phase three: fists of fury

Regulating the shenanigans of phase two usually end up in phase three, also known as SOMEONE getting butt hurt because I won't let them carry on with said shenanigans.  Yesterday we were on a lovely playdate with the MOMS Club we belong to, which was going great until Jackson discovered that the hostess had brought snacks.  I let both kids pick out two snack to enjoy and then I cut them off.  First I got the sad, I'm going to cry face.  I stood firm and that led to the "I just want to see the world burn" face.  He then started sneaking over to the snack bucket and started grabbing the snacks and throwing them.  He was thisclose to upending the whole thing which led to...

Phase four: leaving the park with a flailing toddler under your arm

When Lucy was just under two and Jackson was still a baby, I swear this was one of the only reasons I used our double stroller.  I did a lot of babywearing, and Lucy was pretty good at walking by then, but for the safety of both kids I would bring the stroller in case I had to strap a tantrum-ing toddler in.  And there have been man a times, even as recent as last year, where I'd had to strap her in, with her screaming and a crowd of people watching, my face beet red from embarrassment.
Yesterday I had to call it, and leave the park because the snack bandit wouldn't cut the shit.
Here's a pro tip that I learned from a good friend: buckle the chest clip first so they can't arch their backs out of the carseat.  You're welcome.
Now where's the wine?

New name, same blog

  It's been quite some time since I've logged in and actually posted something! So hello again.
Back when I was blogging regularly I had this idea in my head that I was going to have cool and interesting things to say, resulting in a large following of readers like my favorite blogger has.
But then I remembered that I'm not that creative and inherently lazy when it comes to crafting with my kids and coming up with new recipes and I lost sight of what I originally started this blog for: a written record of my life to look back on one day, and for our kids to look back on.
And to be honest, I really miss writing, and there are so many funny and awkward things that happen in my life as a mom and let's face it, socially awkward person.
Parenting in itself, and the politics of mommyhood, is a gold mine for commentary, that's for sure.
I've really missed having a creative outlet where I can let loose and write what I'm feeling and what we've been up to.
So I'm back!! 
Today was no exception in the awkward parenting department.
Jackson and I had an experience today that seriously made my skin crawl and made me want to shower for a week!
We had to drop Andy off at work today and ended up with 30 minutes to kill before dropping Lucy off at preschool, so we played at the park that's down the street from our house.
Jackson went down the slide, and I noticed that it was a little wet but didn't really think much of it because it had rained a bit the night before.
When I picked him up so we could head to the car, I noticed his butt was wet, and did the requisite sniff check of his butt to verify that it was water.
I was so, so wrong.
His pants smelled like pee but his diaper was dry, and I haven't botched a diaper change in a long time so it most definitely was not. my. child's. urine.
So Jackson's butt was covered in stranger pee, and I put my nose up to his butt so my face had stranger pee on it.
I have no idea who peed on that damn slide, so Jackson got a bath immediately after we got home.
This isn't the first time I've dealt with strange pee, back when I worked at Starbucks there was an incident, but this time made me feel so gross.
So parents, check the slide before your kids go down them because you never know if someone has chosen to use it as a urinal.

#momlife

It's a rainy day here in Roseville and it seemed like a good day for writing, so that's what I'm doing!

I used to use writing as an outlet when I was a teenager since it's so cathartic, and have a huge box filled with journals.  

I find myself needing an outlet like that more and more these days, and what better place to do that than with this blog?

As a mom, so much of our lives are wrapped up in the kids, so sometimes we get overlooked, which is why I'm writing about me today.  Selfish, I know, but it's my blog so I do what I want.

A huge part of my life lately has been Weight Watchers.  I started last July and as one lady on Connect puts it, I've failed my way to losing 15 pounds.

Sometimes I beat myself up over that number, but I know I'm human and I haven't given up which is huge.

I've *tried* other diets before, mainly counting calories, but I never followed through, usually stopping after a few weeks.  I'd have a bad day and eat more than what I was "supposed to" and throw in the towel.

Weight Watchers is the only thing that I've EVER stuck to, and nine months and some change later I'm proud of what I've accomplished.

The main reason I joined is because I really felt like I needed to learn how to eat, if that makes sense.  Counting calories only takes you so far.  What I love about Smart Points is the points are calculated using fat, calories, sugar, saturated fat and protein.  Foods that are lower in points are actually better for you, sustain your energy and keep you fuller longer.

The people behind Weight Watchers are right, calories don't tell you the whole story.

I beat myself up over the fact that I've only lost 15 pounds because I know I'm not always entirely honest about tracking my points, and I have a tendency to snack at night and not record it.

I only get 30 points a day, which isn't a ton of food, peeps!  But I'm slowly learning ways to efficiently pack those points in.

I still have 20 pounds to go, and I will get there!  

I love meetings, and I think a big part of that is my awesome leader.  I really picked a good day and time to go.  She is funny, engaging, caring and very motivating.

I also love that my mother-in-law attends with me, which makes it even more fun!

Weight Watchers is a huge lifestyle change, and sometimes it's hard wrapping my brain around the fact that if I want to stay at a healthy weight this is the way I'll be eating for the rest of my life.  But it's completely doable.

I've also been working from home a little bit, freelancing for a local lifestyle magazine.  It's pretty awesome because I get to pick what I write about, usually light feature stories about businesses and mom life.  My other baby has been my Perfectly Posh business, but if you want to know more about that, visit www.myposhadventure.com.  I've been doing a lot of Facebook parties, which are super fun, and I'm hoping to do some vendor events in the future.

I love being able to work from home because I love staying home with my kids, but I found myself needing something outside of them to call my own.  

I'm still trying to figure out how to strike a balance between working from home and keeping them entertained, so if anyone knows, clue me in ;-)

I hope everyone is enjoying this rainy Friday!  Bye for now!

St. Patrick's Day with little ones!

Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day before kids came along used to be a somewhat straightforward affair.

Gather up your friends (or squad, which I think is what the cool kids are calling that these days) and toast with green beer, either out at a bar, where they dye it green for you, or at home, which is what my circle of friends and I usually did in my twenties.

It didn’t matter if it was on weekend and you got to sleep in, or on a weeknight, which meant you had to stumble through work the next day.  You were drinking beer, either green or Guinness, on St. Patrick’s Day, end of story.

Yeah, it doesn’t really work that way once you have kids, especially ones that are three and under.  There are still middle of the night wake-ups and even earlier mornings.

We might be able to sneak in one green beer, but I’m so tired from these last three years that even half of a beer puts me to sleep for the night.  

Though I’ve since retired my frosty beer mug, St. Patrick’s Day is definitely still a fun holiday.  

Having children seems to breathe new life into holidays we’ve gotten used to over the years, mostly due to their excitement coupled with the endless crafts, activities and recipes listed on Pinterest.

Now that my kids are old enough to do crafts with (well, maybe not the 2-year-old since he still eats PlayDoh) I thought a leprechaun trap would be fun way to get my kids into the St. Patrick’s Day spirit.

I need to preface this by saying I’m totally not a Pinterest mom.  If you look at the photo of the leprechaun trap we made, that will be apparent.

The inspiration for our trap came from a blog on the Kix Cereal website.

But honestly, your kids don’t care.  All they know is glitter glue is super fun to use and construction paper is a hoot to cut.  Seriously.  My three-year-old will entertain herself for a good hour with a pair of toddler scissors and construction paper.  Cheapest activity ever.

The great thing about leprechaun traps is you can make them out of items you already have around the house.  We used a cereal box, cotton balls, construction paper, glitter glue and regular glue.  For the “bait” we used Lucky Charms cereal and some pennies.

Side note: the Lucky Charms are also a great topping for cupcakes.  We made green cupackes, topped them with whipped cream and then the cereal, which made for a festive treat.

This was an awesome activity for a Sunday afternoon, especially since my whole family was battling a cold.  The instructions are below, but really, the possibilities are endless.

I think the best part was hearing my daughter mispronounce it and ask me if I “made daddy a contract.”

Enjoy!

Leprechaun Trap

Materials needed:

cereal box (or a cracker box will do)

red, orange, yellow, green and blue construction paper

scissors

cotton balls

gold glitter glue

white glue or a glue stick

a wooden dowel (or a pencil)

string

1. Take the cereal box and cut off the top flaps.  Cut the bottom of the box off, and then cover the outside of the box with green construction paper.
2. Remember the bottom of the box you just cut off?  Cover that in glue and then stick the cotton balls all over it so it looks like a big fluffy cloud.
3. Cut off a strip from each sheet of construction paper.  Glue them together.  Each one will be overlapping another, to make a rainbow.  
4. Glue your rainbow to the bottom of the cereal box, AKA your cloud.
5. We used the glitter glue on the rainbow, drawing circles with the gold glitter and then filling them in so they looked like coins.
6. Prop the cereal box, green side up, over the cloud with the wooden dowel, and tie a string to the dowel.
7. Put your bait under the box and wait for the leprechaun!

Preschool

Last week was a big week for us, as our little lady started preschool.
We enrolled her in the same preschool her cousins went to, which is actually part of our local high school's Family and Consumer class.
Her teachers are a bunch of high school students who are interested in future careers of working with children.

It has actually gone a lot better than I was expecting.  When I say that, I mean she actually let me leave the first day without any tears!!
She just saved her crying for AFTER I left the school.
I got a phone call on the first day, about an hour before school was supposed to be out (school is only two hours, three days a week) from the teacher in charge of the preschool program.
The teacher said that Lucy was having a rough day, and was crying for me sporadically during the day.
I guess she was fine when she was allowed to free play with toys, but when it was time for structured activities, like circle time and art, she cried.  Which I thought was slightly funny because of course she's going to cry for me when she's told to do something she doesn't want to do. o_0
While I didn't have to come pick her up, the teacher gave me the option to do so, which naturally I did because I felt bad that she was so sad!  I ended up picking her up 20 minutes early, which is not bad for a first day.
The next morning, the teacher assured me that the crying was normal and that they are happy to work with her.  I guess the only reason she called me during the first day was because she didn't want me to come pick Lucy up and then be told at pick-up that she cried.  She asked if it was okay to not call unless she's inconsolable and then just tell me whether or not she cried at pick-up, which I'm fine with because hello, she's going to have to get used to school eventually, so why not start now?
All in all, it's been a pretty positive experience so far.  She's excited every morning when I drop her off and tells us everything they did that day during school when I pick her up, and she asks to go to preschool every day.
And I'm excited to go grocery shopping with only one kid.  And Target.  And the post office.
Because we all know errands with one is way better than two!

It's June already?!

It's June already, holy crap!!

I think I have been waiting for summertime to get here since probably February.  It doesn't get super cold here but it's nice to not have to wait until mid-morning to head out and play.

It's finally starting to warm up a little bit, so I'm sure I'll be complaining in no time about how friggin' hot it is outside.

I think I'm most excited about summer time being here because it means that there will be barbecues and swim dates every weekend from here until September, and having something to occupy my crazy little toddlers is huge in our household.

This weekend we went to the local water park and then to a cookout to celebrate my mother-in-law's birthday.

I have no pictures from those events, but here are some of what we've been up to.

Andy built the kids a playhouse, Jackson has learned to walk and climb recently, we had a blast blowing bubbles at the local farmer's market and Lucy started her first gymnastics class.

Happy June 1, everyone!  It's my favorite month of the year!

If I make it out alive...

I swear I will laugh about this stuff when she's older.  Or probably even next week.

Today has just been one of those days where I am a second away from dropping f-bombs all up in here to blow off some steam.

I decided that we would stay home today so I could focus more on potty training.  We've been using Pull-ups for the past few weeks but the people on the Internets are right, she's not uncomfortable when wet because it's like wearing a diaper. 

So I bought training underwear in hopes of helping her learn that peeing your pants sucks and makes you feel gross.

I think we are on pair number four or five today. Instead of telling me she has to go, I get, "Uh oh, change the diaper!" or "Uh-oh, pee!" and then I look over and her pants are soaked.

It's progress, though, because I know soon she will probably tell me she has to go instead of telling me she went.

But being housebound has made me cranky.  We usually head out for an activity in the morning.  That way, she is worn out, ready for lunch and ready for a nap instead of like today.

After taking her pee for the zillionth time, we headed out, Jackson, dogs and all to play in the front yard before lunch.

Which was cool, until it was time for lunch.  Because that meant going inside.

Cue the running across the yard screaming "Play outside! Play outside!" which meant mommy had to spent extra time coaxing her in the house like a dirty cat that needs a bath.

While I was making lunch, three time-outs were given for spitting water all over the floor twice and then running to her bedroom with a fork just because I asked her to give me the fork.  She grabbed it off of the counter, I asked for it which apparently means run like a bat out of hell even though running with a fork is a bad idea.  But she doesn't know that.

When she was done with lunch, she hucked her placemat across the table, which connected with my glass of water, spilling it all over the floor and Brody.

The cherry on top was when I had refilled my cup of water, and she decided to pick it up, walk to the other side of the table and dump the contents all over the floor.

So naturally I called Andy and begged him to come home with chocolate.

Now she is sleeping after minimal fuss.  I guess being a badass is tiring.