What I'll miss when she's older

This post is inspired by an article in the June issue of Parents Magazine.  The author lists things about his son he'll miss when he is older.

Now that Lucy is almost 21 months old, there are some things she does now that I'll probably miss as soon as a year from now, so here goes:

• She pronounces the letter F with a "shh" sound.  Example: shone=phone, shog=frog, and shan=fan.
• We just watched "Frozen" last week, and mommy and daddy seemed to enjoy it more than her.  We ask her, "Do you want to build a snowman?" and she instantly says "No."
• She gives hugs by tipping only her head onto whatever she is hugging.
• She's obsessed with shoes, but not because she likes shoes, but the possibility of shoes.  Whenever she sees us putting our shoes on, she gets excited and runs to get hers, because to her, shoes mean we are going somewhere, which means some sort of adventure.
• We are teaching her please and thank you, and she can say both, but her latest thing is saying thank you when she wants something or hands us something.
• She can count to ten with us, but only knows the even numbers.
• We live a mile from the train tracks, so we hear most trains that go by.  Whenever she hears one, she says "Train!"  We also live near a fire station, so when a fire engine rolls by, with sirens blaring, she also yells "Train!"  We're working on that one.

I'm sure there are a bunch more, but both kids are waking up now!

Jeez, two months have gone by?

Wow, I've really let this blogging thing go to the wayside lately.
I guess I've been a bit busy lately.  Hmm.  I wonder why.

These two have been keeping me quite busy.  That, and our house is up for sale, so between changing diapers and keeping kids fed, it's been meeting with our realtor and keeping our house company clean every day.  If I've only learned one thing from that, it's that it's really weird being at home while a prospective buyer tours it. 
Here's a little recap of what's been going on.

 
• Andy went back to work when Jackson was two weeks old.  Instead of being freaked out, I was actually weirdly calm about the whole situation.  It's been busy, yeah, but being home with these two hasn't been as stressful as I thought it would be.
• Babywearing has been my friend.  I didn't figure babywearing out until Lucy was a few months old, and by then we had gone through several uncomfortable experiences at family gatherings and visits due to Lucy being overstimulated or tired but not able to wind down.  From the beginning with Jackson, I put him in the Moby wrap immediately if he's been fed and changed but still crying.  
• Babywearing has also been great for getting out of the house.  Lucy goes in the stroller or cart, and Jackson goes in the Moby, and most of the time we have a peaceful outing.  The few times I haven't worn him reinforced why I do.  There was the time Lucy turned around and pinched Jackson when he was in the infant seat in a cart at Target, and the time Lucy ran down a hill at a park and it was awkward navigating the stroller down it.
• Spending time outside has been really important.  If I don't get Lucy outside at least once a day (on a walk, to the park or just the backyard) she gets bored with a capital B.

Lucy is a great big sister, jealousy and all.  She's super sweet with him first thing in the morning, but by the end of the day, she kisses him and then immediately smacks him.  But there are definitely more kisses than smacks.  She truly loves him.  It's super cute.
Jackson has left the super sleepy newborn phase, and is awake a lot during the day.  He loves to sit in his bouncer or under his toy gym.  He's been smiling and cooing a lot.  Last night was particularly cute.  He woke me up at midnight to eat, so I brought him to bed like usual, latched him on and dozed off.  He woke up again at two to eat, and instead of going right back to sleep, he decided 3 a.m. was a good time to smile and coo at mommy.  

They're pretty great.  I can't complain.

An adjustment

We've got a week under our belts of having Jackson home.
Instead of being terrified of going home, I was very excited to get home with him and to get home to Lucy.
Caring for a newborn is not nearly as challenging as it was the first time around.  It's very much like riding a bicycle.
And unlike last time, I'm able to exclusively nurse him, which makes leaving the house easy because I don't have to worry about packing bottles, just diapers, an extra change of clothes, wipes and a blanket to cover up with if he needs to eat.
What I didn't think would be so hard was not being able to care for Lucy.  I'm getting teary just thinking about it.
For eighteen months, it was just her and I against the world.
But since I had a c-section, I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than Jackson for two weeks. 
It's been really strange not taking care of her, putting her to bed at night, or even being able to pick her up and comfort her when she asks for it.  Things are going to be so much different from here on out, and I know that we'll all adjust and get used to our new family dynamic, but I'm really having a hard time sometimes dealing with splitting my time between the two of them.
The outings that she and I used to do alone, like grocery shopping or going to the library are going to be more complicated for awhile until we get used to Jackson being with us.
I'm sure this is something every parent goes through when they add a new member to the family.  The hormones sure don't help.
On the flip side, Lucy and Andy have bonded so much ever since Jackson was born.  I'm so grateful, because for the longest time Lucy has been such a momma's girl.  Instead of running to me automatically when she falls down and gets hurt, she runs to Andy and not just me, which is great.  She's been going to bed great for him which is another plus.  I hope the bonding continues after he returns to work next week.

Jackson's birth story

I went in for a repeat c-section on March 7 due to a medical condition I have that affects our babies.  Many of you know that I've been undergoing weekly infusions to help prevent low platelet and white blood cell counts in our kids.  A vaginal birth is too risky, because if their platelets are too low, it could cause brain bleeds.  Lucy was born with extremely low platelets, but after two transfusions and infusions of the medication I was on for 20 weeks, she is now totally fine.
My c-section was scheduled for 8:30 a.m., so we arrived at 6 a.m.  Andy's mom came to our house that morning to stay with Lucy.  It was really hard leaving her knowing that things were going to be way different when I came home.
Anyway.  We got checked in to the hospital, and did all of the normal pre-surgery stuff, like starting the IV, the lovely being shaved, etc. 
We ended up being delayed by three hours because of two emergency c-sections that came in around the time I was being admitted.  It actually worked to my favor, because I was really anxious and scared about the c-section, but by the time it actually rolled around I had calmed down.
I walked into the OR around 11 a.m. and they started the spinal.  It was a lot worse than last time, since the guy hit a nerve going in.  I also had the same experience of chest heaviness, so the anesthesiologist had to give me an oxygen mask, which helped a lot.
He was really great and eased my fears about a lot of stuff.  I could feel the doctor touching my abdomen, which was scary, but he explained that the spinal blocks out different nerves for different things.  It blocked the nerves that feel cutting, but not the ones that feel pressure.
I kept asking for Andy and they finally brought him in while the doctor was removing scar tissue from my previous c-section.
After a lot of tugging, pulling, and pressure, Jackson Andrew was born at 11:33 a.m. on March 7, weighing 8 pounds 10 ounces, and measuring 20 1/2 inches.
The first thing my OB commented on was how big he was.  He didn't look that big to me, but I think it's because I'm used to Lucy.  At my last prenatal visit, he and I were guessing Jackson would maybe be 8 pounds, but not any more than that.  We thought that because I am only 4' 9" tall, and Lucy was 7 pounds 5 ounces.
His head was pretty much stuck in my pelvis, so the doctor had to use forceps to get him out.  I wonder if he would have made it through there with a vaginal birth!

Unlike his sister, he cried the moment he came out and seemed really pissed!  Lucy didn't make a peep for probably her first half hour, but just kind of looked around at everything.
As soon as they did his APGAR's and measurements, they brought him over for me to hold.
The doctor commented that he wasn't polka dot like his sister.  She had pitikia, or tiny red spots that are burst blood vessels, due to low platelets, but I thought they had developed after she was born, so I learned something new!
We were extremely happy to hear that he wasn't polka dot, and he didn't develop any pitikia at any time after he was born.  A blood test later reassured us that his platelets were fine.
We did notice that he was very jittery after he was born, since his arms and legs would shake, especially when he was angry.  His blood sugar ended up being low, so right when I got into recovery I nursed him, and he stayed latched for 45 minutes on each side.  The cool thing we were able to raise his blood sugar while in recovery just through nursing, and I felt very accomplished because Lucy and I had a rough nursing relationship.
Unlike with Lucy, who was whisked to the NICU about an hour after birth and stayed there for six days, Jackson got to come upstairs to my postpartum room, which was what we were hoping for.  I'm so grateful he was able to room with me the whole time.
He started having issues with his blood sugar again Friday night, so we did have to give him 20-30mL of formula each time after he nursed, and then I had to pump to help get my milk going more.  Andy was a little concerned about this, because he was afraid we'd have a Lucy situation where Jackson would get used to a bottle nipple and not want to nurse, but almost a week later my milk is fully in.  We're having a bit of trouble with his latch every so often, but it's getting better.
The doctor kept threatening to send him to NICU if his blood sugar wasn't up to a certain level by a certain time, but we were able to raise it to an appropriate level by Saturday night.
We got to go home on Sunday.  It's been pretty great.

Jackson Andrew

On Friday, March 7 we welcomed Jackson Andrew into our little family, and yesterday we got to come home!

 I had a repeat c-section, and despite being delayed for three hours because of a few emergency c-sections that rolled in before us, everything went smoothly.
Lucy is handling being a big sister very well, my husband has been wonderfully helpful the past couple days and I'm focusing on recovering and learning to nurse the little guy.
I'll write more about his birth later, he's sleeping now but we all know that might not last very long!

Life lately

The end of a (really short) era is fast approaching.  If  everything goes according to plan, Lucy will have been promoted to the rank of sister by next Friday, March 7. 
I've got one last infusion this Friday and then it's bye bye IVIG for the forseeable future.
Life has pretty much become one big waiting game.  Luckily nothing laborific is happening around here, and the doctor said he thinks we might just make it to my scheduled c-section without any hiccups.

I've been soaking up the last few weeks of it being just Lucy and I.  I haven't really been able to take her to the park for the last few weeks, but we've been finding fun activities to do inside and out on the patio.  Yesterday we tried out Color Wonder finger paints, and it was a hit.  She had a blast smearing the paint all over her desk and the paper, and I was grateful that the paint is clear so I didn't really have to use oodles of baby wipes and end up with paint on my walls or the dogs.

I'm still feeling pretty guilty about having our time as a duo cut short at 18-months, but everyone I talk to who have kids close in age say it's actually pretty awesome and they usually are best friends that love to play together.

I've had a blast being her mom for the past year and a half, and she's really turning into a smart and funny little kid.  It seems like she's been learning a word a week (this week it's "done") and has learned how to make a fish face.  She's really big on giving kisses and hugs, especially to Andy, myself and her dogs.

I'm nervous like last time about having a c-section, simply because it is major surgery and there are risks.  But it's the safest way for him to arrive, so I'm willing to take on those risks.  At least I know what to expect this time.

Hopefully we get a way different hospital experience this time around.  We went into Lucy being born expecting that we'd have a baby in my hospital room with us, giving us time to bond and her and I time to learn how to breastfeed successfully with help from awesome nurses and lactation consultants.

That didn't happen at all, instead it was a really traumatic situation where my baby was downstairs and I was upstairs.

If everything goes right this time, Andy and I will get that time with our new baby in my room, getting to know him and learning the ropes of nursing together.  I'm really looking forward to the three of us having that bonding time without the distraction of visitors for the first few hours. 

I feel really robbed of having that time with Lucy, it's time we'll never get back.  We're doing the same thing as last time, not having visitors until much later in the day after he's born so we get that time together.

Plus it's really glamorous having nurses coming in every 30 minutes, asking if you've farted/pooped yet, and if you've peed, because if you haven't the catheter is going back in.  Add feeling like a swamp creature since, you know, my abdomen was just cut open, and postpartum hormones making me weepy as hell, I'm definitely not going to be up to visitors way later in the day.

More power to those people who are up to visitors while they are pushing and right after birth.  I'm just not one of them, no matter how close I am to someone.  I'll be undergoing a major medical procedure, and that's a big deal.  My husband and daughter are the only ones I can handle during times like these.

I still can't believe we've only got a week and two days until he gets here!  That is just crazy to me.  This pregnancy has just flown by, and I'm really hoping that his baby days don't fly by, since this could potentially be our last one.

I leave you with a dog who wants more borscht.

What they don't tell you about having your second kid

I wrote this post when I was 34 weeks pregnant with Lucy, and I'm 36 weeks now so I figured it would be fun to write a version for this pregnancy.
Being pregnant the second time around is a whole new ballgame.  I keep being disappointed in the baby books for not including a section about being pregnant with your second baby and all that it entails, but then I thought if they did it might be hard to want to try for number two (or three or four...)
Maybe my experience is a little different because Lucy was only nine months old when I got pregnant and it would have been different when she was older.
The biggest thing has been how difficult it is to get enough rest, especially since Lucy has never been a great napper.  She knocked herself down from two naps to one around 11 months.  The first trimester with no naps sucked pretty hard, but I managed.  Luckily morning sickness was mild, but I only just felt nauseated.
The second trimester was pretty easy.  I only had to slow down a little bit, so we could still easily go to the park and play a couple times a week.
It's only really gotten bad the past few weeks, since Lucy has learned to climb and is really into climbing things in our home she's not supposed to, like our TV stand, chairs, her art table and the end table.
Last pregnancy, I only had the dogs to worry about, and they listen (for the most part).
I could get home from work and lounge on the couch as much as I wanted, and go to bed whenever I wanted, and sleep until whenever I wanted.
Now I'm at the mercy of an 18-month-old, whose listening skills are quite selective.
I go to sit down on the couch and that's when Lucy decides to climb the TV stand and I either have to get her down or put her in time out.
By the time Andy gets home at night, I'm physically done.  My back hurts and I'm having Braxton Hicks contractions.
I asked my doctor if it was normal to be having more discomforts this time around, since I'm not working, just staying home.
He said that what I'm doing now, as a stay at home mom, is a lot harder than what I was doing as a reporter and that staying home with a child 24/7 is physically taxing.
I'm definitely having to slow down A LOT.  I'm not getting as much done around the house these days, which bugs me but I'd rather be rested so I can keep up with Lucy.
I feel bad because we're not getting out to play as much, but that's only because I can't fit through most playground equipment so I can't chase her.
We still have the mall playground to go to, which is great for having her piss off some energy, and I don't have to climb anything.
I remember the physical limitations of pregnancy bothering me last time, but that really meant that I didn't leave my desk for interviews as much, I mainly did them by phone.  I also farmed out taking photos to freelancers a lot more so I didn't have to go out in the heat and or squat/climb to get good shots.
This time I'm farming out dishes and Lucy's baths to Andy. : )
I'm getting pretty tired of being physically limited from what I can do with Lucy and I feel bad because I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over in about two weeks.
That's kind of a double-edged sword, though, because while I'll be able to do more with Lucy after my c-section recovery is over, we'll have a brand new person tagging along.
I'm trying not to let the guilt of Lucy having to share me with her brother get the best of me.  Some nights when I'm putting Lucy to bed I get really sad about the fact that our days of just the two of us are numbered, and she doesn't even know what's happening.  I just got a little teary eyed while writing that.
I know it's normal to feel a little sad when going from one child to two, but it doesn't really make it any easier.
But we'll all adjust like we did last time and it'll all be fine.